Who Am I?

It wasn’t the drinking, fighting, or terrifying uncertainty in my childhood home. It wasn’t that my mother left, running off with a psychopathic, wanna-be-cult-leader doctor. It wasn’t my father’s sudden, and overwhelming fame causing him to change dramatically from a gentle artist to a suicidal maniac. It wasn’t even that when I was kidnapped, and miraculously escaped and survived, no one seemed to care. The sadness that existed in me had always been there, since the dawn of time and maybe even before that. The body I inhabit, temporary, but the darkness, eternal.

Since becoming aware, I’d had an awareness that I was something more than Holly, the human-girl, born in Minneapolis. I was an ancient being with some kind of karmic retribution that I was doomed to spend lifetimes grappling with. From the very start, I felt a clawing desperation to get it right this time, in this life-time, but the sadness kept pulling me down, down, down, an anvil hanging from my soul- as i’m sure it did i…