HollyWould

HollyWould

Share this post

HollyWould
HollyWould
Then & Now

Then & Now

A list to celebrate an anniversary

Holly Solem's avatar
Holly Solem
Feb 22, 2023
∙ Paid
6

Share this post

HollyWould
HollyWould
Then & Now
Share

It seemed like it was going to be the worst day of my life. Blood on my sheets, t-shirt, and face. Empty bottles, full ashtrays. Another broken nose. A head injury that would plague me for months to come. Trying to piece together what had happened. Again.

But with time, and perspective, it ended up being the best day of my life. A turning point. A catalyst for a change I was finally ready for. I took that day and made it into the my future. Living in the unknown. A sense of purpose. It felt mystical. Spiritual. Maybe it was just the concussion. But I really did change.

What a gift it is to be alive and to be present. To no longer poison myself or shrink into nothing. To actually meet my potential.

The messages led to lessons and I finally fucking got it.

I’m endlessly, eternally grateful. Five years, today. 2/22.

In honor of this anniversary I made a list:

then: Didn’t care if I lived or died. 

now: I’m a hypochondriac.

then: Drank entire bottles of Tito’s, swallowed any pill, snorted co…

Keep reading with a 7-day free trial

Subscribe to HollyWould to keep reading this post and get 7 days of free access to the full post archives.

Already a paid subscriber? Sign in
© 2025 Holly Solem
Privacy ∙ Terms ∙ Collection notice
Start writingGet the app
Substack is the home for great culture

Share