The Pattern Was Right

Trigger Warning: this story meanders into many dark places

Back in July of 2021, while perusing the astrology app, The Pattern, I came across an unpleasant prediction. Based on the placement of the stars in the sky, come December, I would enter into a life cycle called, “Mission Realignment”.  This life cycle described confusion, upheaval, an “underworld initiation” and the absolute inability to escape it all.  Considering that I had been living in a state of upheaval and chaos for my entire life, and I was FINALLY JUST starting to find my footing, I resented this prophecy. In fact, the mere mention of even a possibility of anything else in my life ever going wrong again, filled me with anxiety and dread. I looked around at my carefully curated life. I’d been sober for nearly four years. My music career was finally heading in the right direction. I had income. Friends. A nice place to live. Things to look forward to. Everything in its right place. I considered the downfalls of my past. Relapse. Poverty. Relationship failures. Death. Nothing i…