Power vs Force

We cannot f*ck our way out of being f*cked.

I’ve always been obsessed with power. As a concept. A theory. A religion. An entity. Where I have it. Where I lack it. The ways in which I give it away and how I can get it back. It starts where I believe power is something to get. To attain, accumulate, have and then keep. Something I can source and mine through manipulation or force.

There’s not much power, if any, in sadness and even less in fear, but there is power in rage. I use anger to my advantage, and often it works. But that kind of power is fleeting and unsustainable. What’s beneath that? Where does that burst of frenetic energy come from? Outside? Or is it deep within?

As a woman, our power and its source can be very confusing. We create life in our bodies. It seems like that should be enough. So why does it feel like the men hold the majority of the power? We have something men want, so it starts where I wonder if by giving ourselves to them, we can access some of theirs. I wonder if our greatest source of power is in betwe…