Just because your paranoid, don’t mean they’re not after you. Remember when Kurt Cobain said that? I sure do, and I think about it nearly every day. I’m paranoid. For good reason. Paranoia rooted in reality. Because if they’re not after me right at this very moment, they have been after me or they will be after me, in one way or another, till the end of time. Chances are, they’re after you too.
PARANOIA: A LIST
1. Squirrels are going to attack me. (My grandmother was chased by possibly rabid squirrels in Loring Park, Minneapolis when I was a teenager. I will never forget this. I also had an unsettling encounter with a squirrel who was parked in front of my front door, sprawled out superman style, preventing me from leaving my home for a full day. When I called animal control they suggested I “whack it with a broom”. I did not.)
2. I’m going to fall down. (I’m often feeling like I’m about to fall down and sometimes I don’t even want to stand up for fear of falling. I dream about falling.)
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