My Rock Bottom - in Vogue

The pendulum must swing in the opposing direction. Science says so. Here on earth we have gravity, and tension, the two dominant forces that make it impossible for it not to.

This is what I told myself on the daily during my rock bottom from drugs and alcohol. That first year, when I looked around and rubbed my crusty eyes, stunned by the rubble I sat crumpled amongst after waking from a twenty-year nightmare. While I hid out with a head injury, through oceans of tears I repeated it like a mantra. The pendulum must swing.

If you had told me during that time that one day I would write a personal essay describing the infantilizing nature of being newly sober and reliant on others for care at 35 years old, and that piece of writing would end up on Vogue.com, I would not, for one second, have believed you.

And then there’s the mystical bit...

On Wednesday, February 21 around four o’clock LA time, my lit agent texted me - rather late for a New York workday, not to mention, he never texts me …