Murder Vibes

Stranger Danger in the era of dating apps

I get on. I get off. But I never really “get off”. Get it? Dating apps. They’re making a riddle out of my romantic life.

What is it about me that seems to attract aggressive, possible psychopaths with murder vibes? I am aware I shouldn’t be diagnosing people. Because believe it or not, I am not an actual doctor. Instead, I will just explain what happened in the latest installment of my attempt at dating.

It had been a few weeks since my last failed attempt on the apps. On Raya there’s matching and not talking. On Hinge, there’s matching and then too much thirst. I’m looking for the Goldilocks effect, so when I matched with a tall, handsome, big-handed, though slightly crazy-eyed man who’s only photos were selfies; and he wrote something about being equally as intrigued as he was frightened by me, I thought… bingo. If he’s scared of me he won’t come on too-too strong, right?

But why am I scary? I must know! His hook worked. Like a minnow to a blood worm, I bit. His voice on the other end …