LOVE IS BLIND. Or Maybe it Gives Me Amnesia.

I think I have a rare, hyper-specialized and niche form of face blindness. Maybe it’s even elite. It’s like a blackout that occurs, but only when I like someone. You know, like, like-like. They disappear to me, physically. I cannot conjure their image in my mind’s eye for the life of me.

“What does he look like?” a friend will ask, and I’m left blubbering on about the fact that he has a nose, and a mouth, and eyes, and that’s all I know for sure. I can only describe the nebulous blur and wavy emotions that blanket my vision. A cloudy burst of cotton candy pinks, sea foam greens, pale blues and shimmering sparkles. Plumes of purple-black smoke rise from pangs of anxiety, the color of blood filling my retinas. A prophecy? Am I witnessing his true form? Or maybe I have a type of synesthesia, I’m some kind of an aura reader. Whatever it is, it seems I’ll never be able to retain the face if the feelings are there.

I get scared that maybe I won’t find them attractive if I really do get a go…