Cherry Flavored Codeine Cough Syrup

Can bowling and steak replace sex and drugs? Will the unknown be worth it?

Nashville 2018, six weeks after my head injury. Photo: Bill Reynolds

I wanted to tear into him. I wanted to take the tan flesh and carved out muscle of his bicep into my mouth and in between my teeth and bite so hard I could drink his coppery blood. I wanted to know what his tongue tasted like and I wanted to be inside his veins and I wanted him to rip me open and light me on fire and I wanted to explode like a bomb. From my spirit form, I wanted to see all our guts and innards glistening red, pink and black, streaked and spattered across the sea-foam green walls of my kitchen.

Instead, I said, “Wanna go bowling?”

At the bowling alley I stared at the adorable look of concentration on the face of Henry–a person I’d known for years, but maybe never really knew–as he fumbled with the frayed laces of crusty bowling shoes. We’d never spent time together sober. I’d never spent time with anyone sober. This was my first social outing post head injury. I wondered how I’d missed the sexy man befo…