Another "Chris Martin is Amazing" Story

Everyone has a story about the Coldplay lead singer. And before you get to mine, you must first suffer through my dietary issues.

I hurt myself again. All these years and I still haven’t come to accept that I can no longer eat shit. I mean I can’t eat shit, as in there’s practically nothing I can eat. Nothing fun, at least. Here’s what I recently ate in the name of fun:

• Cheesecake

• Bread with cheese

• Bread and butter

• Fried calamari (gluten)

• MadChip Sundae from Erewhon (has an entire cookie in it)

• Organic Erewhon Brownie made from healthy shit like coconut sugar and almond flour.

• Tocaya steak and rice bowl with hot sauce (Would have been fine if I didn’t douse it in spicy)

• French fries with ranch and ketchup

• A bag of Have’a Corn Chip

• Rice bowl from Baja Fresh (more xtra spicy sauce)

• A small bag of off brand Doritos

• Gummy candy, but like, an expensive natural kind from Erewhon (still not good for me)

• This delicious mushroom risotto type thing

• Cheddar cheese on a salad

• Goop kitchen cauliflower crust pizza, WITH CHEESE

This was a FUCK-IT week. Doesn’t sound that bad though, now that it’s all written down. Seems like a fairly normal, …